My shopaholic woman

My shopaholic woman is driving me to the poor house and there is no way to stop her. She has maxed out my credit cards and I am now into my cash reserves. She calls me a cheapskate whenever I beg her to take it easy on me; I have often been kicked and scratched when I refused to come up with enough cash to keep her shopping. My therapist tells me to enter a psychiatric hospital and stay there until she vacates my apartment. But I don’t want to lose her because I am in love. She is a trophy woman who is half my age and an uninhibited lover. I try to keep her in the bedroom as often as I can but she claims that she is an outdoor type. Whenever I walk down the street men stare at her, this raises my self esteem to no end.

I live in a three bedroom apartment and there is hardly any room to move around. Every inch of the place is full of shopping bags. They are stacked up high and reach the ceiling. The bags are full of hundreds of items that my girlfriend purchased from the department stores. I counted at least three hundred ladies handbags. She also has a thing for women’s shoes and there are at least a hundred boxes of them. The place is again becoming a fire hazard and I expect a visit from the fire department any day. The last time they came they had a court order to clean out the place as a fire hazard. They removed over a thousand pieces of women clothing and threw them into a fire truck. My girl friend was devastated and was on sedatives for a month.

She has finally agreed to seek psychiatric help as long as I will continue giving her enough cash to keep her shopping. After many weeks of physical and mental tests they decided to give her anti-psychotic medication which has slowed her down to a crawl; she now spends much of her time in the bedroom listening to music and munching. I offer to take her shopping but she says that she is not in the mood. Our sex life has also slowed down to a crawl. Her doctors say that she has been cured of her shopping obsession and she is now a new woman. I agree with him but I was better off when she was a shopaholic.

Jess Lorinter

I love reading. I think life is too short to read crap books, so I only read books that come highly recommended. I like reading from all genres. Trashy chick lit, hard-core sci-fi, fantasy, thrillers, crime, classics.

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