Child Abuse or Relationship Violence?

A question I'm often asked through my website: If two people who are under the age of majority are dating and one is abused by the other, is it considered child abuse or relationship violence? Child abuse and relationship violence have many factors in common. They both exhibit a pattern of behaviour in which one person uses various forms of fear and intimidation to establish control and power over their victim(s). Child abuse and relationship violence can occur to people of any economic, social or ethnic background, and may or may not involve drugs and/or alcohol.

The specific types of abuse common in child abuse and relationship violence are emotional, physical and sexual.

Emotional Abuse: Behaviour such as yelling, insulting, criticizing, isolating, and terrorizing the victim are examples of emotional abuse present in child abuse and relationship violence.

Physical Abuse: Hitting, punching, slapping or other forms of physical assault.

Sexual Abuse: Sexual abuse can be either contact or non-contact.

Contact sexual abuse includes kissing, touching or fondling in sexual areas, forcing the victim to perform oral sex, and forced intercourse. In Canada, a child under the age of 16 cannot consent to having sexual relations with an adult.

Non-contact sexual abuse includes the victim being forced to listen to sexual talk, including comments (can be done in person, through tapes, the Internet, instant messaging, and/or obscene phone calls); being forced to look at sexual parts of the body--includes buttocks, anus, genital area (vulva, vagina, penis, scrotum), breasts, and mouth (can be in person, on the Internet, with the use of magazines, DVDs, videos, or any material which shows these images).

Although relationship violence often involves minor children, we do not classify this type of violence as child abuse, unless the relationship involves an adult with a child who is under the age of consent.

Are there other differences between Child Abuse and Relationship Violence?

Relationship violence is defined as the emotional, physical and/or sexual assault of one partner by the other in a dating relationship where the couple IS NOT living together. Couples include:

- Male/Female - Female/Female - Male/Male

NOTE: Do not confuse relationship violence with domestic violence, which occurs between couples who ARE living together.

Child abuse is the maltreatment of a child by a parent, guardian, or other adult.

Another difference to note relates to the reporting laws. In Canada, everyone has a legal obligation to report known or suspected child abuse, without exception. However, even though children are often the victims of relationship violence, there is no mandatory reporting law in Canada when relationship violence is present. Regardless of age, the victim can choose to:

- Report - Not report - Have someone report on their behalf

In summary, if two people--including minors--are in a dating relationship and one is abusing the other, we call that relationship violence. In Canada, there is no mandatory reporting law for relationship violence. Child abuse, on the other hand, occurs between an adult and a minor. It is mandatory to make a report for known or suspected child abuse. In other countries or states that have not adopted mandatory reporting laws, citizens have a moral and ethical duty to report. Our children deserve no less.

RESOURCES:

http://www.child-abuse-effects.com is a site that details the four types of child abuse (emotional, physical, sexual, and neglect); signs, effects and statistics for each; sexual abuse victims, including victims with disabilities; sex offenders, including female, child, adolescent, and Internet offenders; laws governing child abuse; intervention; prevention; plus forums to write your own child abuse story, articles and commentaries.

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